【Burnout】

I haven't been writing much. I suppose that's a shock to those close to me. I've been stale on all forms of social media, reserved almost wholly to the visual mediums of my preference.

I wrote too much. I overwhelmed myself a dug a hole, tried to balance too many things all at once--and as of just a few weeks ago(maybe even a couple of months, really), I couldn't force myself to sit down and freewrite. I didn't have the energy in me, couldn't find the right words to put down on the page. It wasn't my usual block either--I couldn't freewrite to push through, or sit down and postulate the possibilities.

I forced myself to write and work too much. I wasn't happy with what I was pushing out, and eventually? I couldn't do it at all, anymore.

Throughout all of December, I did just about nothing but sit on my ass. I didn't write, I sketched a bit, but nothing much. I was exhausted, lethargic, and downing my usual depression cocktail. Come January--a month that already has me extra low--things weren't improving, but I recognized the problem.

So I sat down, and decided that I'd nurse myself out of it one step at a time. Lessen the load here, release stress there, and start reintroducing the actual work--that which I usually love to no end--here and there. I gave myself a daily sketch challenge. I had go make one sketch a day, and put it online. It wasn't difficult, five-ten minutes a day, with a sketchbook. I've been on that maybe 17 days so far, and only once or twice have I struggled to move my hands.

I thought, for a moment, about doing the same with writing. "Freewriting every day!" or "Prose every day!" as I used to. But, I knew I couldn't take it. Instead, I picked up an old passion project.

MO(Moving On) had been sitting on the back burner for some time. The old gal was something born out of love and affection, but twisted into negativity, and forgotten. I figured, since that original muse had come back to me, I'd try to put her back together, rework her from the ground up. So I've started story boarding. Very slowly, extremely so, even--but, I'm getting the work done, as I feel I can. Over all, between the tiny doses of artistic work a day, and the hours I spend staring at good deals on Zillow, I'm finally making my slow, gradual recovery.

I'm still going to work on and continue Foghenge, of course. But I don't want to force it. MO, and that "one step at a time" philosophy is my main priority as of right now.

Hopefully, within the next few months, you all might get to see a little piece of it. 💜